


You Give Me Goosebumps Every Time You Come Around

by honeylove123



Category: Mission: Impossible (Movies)
Genre: Benji is trying be in a healthy relationship, Ethan snaps, I stayed up late to write this because it wouldn't leave me the hell alone, Kidnapping, M/M, No Smut, Toxic Relationship, i don't even know what this is, ofc no beta we die like strong independent females, poor Benji
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-12
Updated: 2020-11-12
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:47:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,650
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27528664
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/honeylove123/pseuds/honeylove123
Summary: When Ethan's obsession with keeping Benji safe crosses the line, Benji knows he has to break it off. It'll hurt, but they can eventually heal. Only thing is, Ethan doesn't want to let him go.
Relationships: Benji Dunn/Ethan Hunt
Comments: 10
Kudos: 28





	You Give Me Goosebumps Every Time You Come Around

**Author's Note:**

> Me: Whoa Ethan's desire to protect Benji and keep him safe is so wholesome
> 
> Also me: let's fuck that up and make it dark
> 
> I can't get these two out of my head. For the past two weeks I've been obsessed with the Benji/Ethan tag here and have just been zip zap zooming through all of the amazing fics here. It was time to make my own little contribution, I guess.  
> This title was oh so very close to being "I'm addicted to you, don't you know that you're toxic."  
> Rated mature for sexual dialogue and a short incidence of choking (and not in the sexy way either), just to be safe

"You can do this," Benji says to himself for the hundredth time, looking at the door of Ethan's house. He takes a deep breath and knocks, hearing Ethan yell, "Come on in, Benji, I'm in the kitchen!" sounding all happy. 

Not for long, Benji thinks to himself. Fuck. 

Benji twists the door knob and comes in, closing the door behind him. "You really shouldn't leave your door open like that," he calls out, eyeing the coat rack by the door. Benji doesn't bother to take off his coat because he's not planning on staying long.

"Don't worry Benji, I programmed the door to respond to my voice. If I didn't give you entry, you'd be out cold, knocked out by a harmless gas I had installed as an extra safety measure." Benji could practically hear the smile in Ethan's voice. 

"Impressive," Benji rounds the corner to find Ethan bent over in the kitchen, placing a roast into the oven. The man's only in briefs, back bare save for the tie of the "Chef Me Out" apron he's wearing.

"God help me," Benji whispers to himself at the sight. He knew he was being punished for what he was about to do. Ethan, with his bat-like hearing, of course, spins around and grins at him, and Benji can't even manage to give him a weak grin. 

"Benji! I'm just preparing dinner - What's wrong?" Ethan's face falls, his eyes flicking towards the door and the window, probably already plotting an escape route. 

"We're safe, Ethan," Benji rushes to assure him, watching Ethan's shoulders relax a bit. Benji moves forward and takes Ethan's hands in his. He gives himself a brief moment to collect himself before starting to speak. 

"Ethan darling, I love you, but I cannot, can't," Benji corrects himself, "do... this, anymore with you, Ethan."

There. He finally got it out, Benji's gut twisting. A small silence fills the air. 

"Do what, Benji?" Ethan asked, a deceptively innocent look to his face, a dangerous glint in his eyes and tone in his voice. 

Benji drops his hands and tries to feel less caged in. "Don't play games with me, Hunt. It hurts too fucking much for this to continue. One second you're clinging to me, making me feel like the most loved person in the world. Then the next second, you push me away, telling me it's too risky and that we can't compromise ourselves because then we could compromise the mission. It's fucking emotional whiplash!" Benji pauses to drag in a ragged breath, wishing he could rub a hand over his face. 

"And don't even get me started on the manipulative things you've done and said whenever you get overprotective, or how you take it way overboard whenever you feel jealous!" Ethan's face scrunches up with confusion before quickly going pale. 

"Benji, what are you even talking about? Are you breaking up with me?! I know that sometimes, I do get a little jealous and possessive-" 

"A little?! Wow, talk about the biggest understatement of the year, Ethan. Do you remember last month when you whisked me away to Vienna, telling me you just wanted a quick getaway and the opportunity to repay me for missing out on the opera? When in reality you were just trying to avoid me from being home and getting notified of the solo mission Brandt wanted me to run? Because you wanted me out of the game, you wanted me to stay and I quote, "Fucking safe"! You put my career in the line, making it seem as if I had gone AWOL, but more importantly, you lied to me for weeks! You installed a fucking virus into my burner phone just so the IMF couldn't reach me. What if Luther needed me? What if Brandt needed me? Do you remember how I eventually fucking found out?! Because I sure as hell do, Ethan! Only when I found the software on my phone and confronted you, did you confess. What the fuck, Ethan? You think I'm just going to let that slide and move on? No! I'm my own damn person, and I'm not going to be controlled by anyone, not even the man I love. You're getting out of line and it's honestly terrifying," Benji rants, trying to get through to him. 

Ethan only looks at him with a mixture of shame and fear. "I know, and I'm sorry, Benji! I just thought I was doing the right thing. I couldn't stop thinking about how I wasn't the one to save you from Lane and how once again, you'd be on your own. When Brandt mentioned they wanted you back in action, I just freaked," Ethan explains, voice soft and palms up and facing Benji.

Benji could almost laugh, he knows what Ethan was doing. "Don't fucking do that, Ethan! Don't try to calm me down when I have a right to be angry with you!" Instantly, Ethan's hands drop down to his sides. 

"Ethan, I understand you saying that was the result of you freaking out. But that explanation would only be barely acceptable if it was a one-off event of your possessiveness and your apparent lack of faith in my capabilities." Ethan opened his mouth to instantly argue, but Benji raised his hand, cutting him off before he could even speak. 

"But I found out you tried to do it again last night, while you were at my flat. You tried to download the same software you put in my burner last time. I'm a technical analyst, for God's sake! Did you really think I wouldn't be prepared this time? And to be sure, I called Brandt. There was an assignment I was supposed to be notified of 1

hours ago. And here I was, getting ready to pack for a surprise expedition to Ghana with you. That, right there, is why we have to break up. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me." Benji's voice is shaking and his heart is breaking but he knows he has to do this.

Ethan's jaw locks and his hands that had before, rested limply at his sides, are now balled up in fists. "I'm going to kill him," Ethan whispers, and Benji squawks in indignation, pointing an accusing hand in his direction. 

"Brandt's not in the wrong here, Ethan! He's not the one who keeps trying to control and manipulate due to some weird type of savior complex!" 

Ethan deeply sighs and says through gritted teeth, "I'm just trying to keep you safe, Ben-" 

"I don't want to hear it. No more excuses. You had your chance and you blew it. I hate for it to end this way, but goodbye, Ethan." Benji stares at Ethan, waiting for him to say something so that this knot of unresolved feelings in his chest would go away.

"Are you leaving me for him?" Is all Ethan says, head hanging, the angle hiding his face from Benji. 

"Leaving you for - what?! There's nothing going on between me and Brandt. I literally opened this conversation telling you that I love you! And this is another issue we have - your jealousy! At first it was almost flattering, but it lost its rosy tint the moment you dislocated a drunk civilian's arm when he told me I have a nice ass!" 

Ethan's head snaps up, and Benji can see tears in his eyes. Fuck. "Of course I'm jealous, Benji! Do you realize how much of a catch you are? It's only expected of me when I have such an amazing person like you as my partner. You may not be able to see it, thanks to your obliviousness, but I can tell when someone wants in your pants- and I am not having it. You're extremely lucky I haven't kept you at home all for myself, Benji!" Ethan angrily explains, and his face is completely serious. 

This scares Benji. Because now, he has to worry about what to say now, what to do now, what to think now without tipping Ethan over the edge. Because unlike others, he can see more to Ethan Hunt than the rest of the world ever could. He always thought there was a touch of darkness that lingered underneath the surface, the Hyde to Ethan's Jekyll. 

"See?! You say some- some shit like that, and it's kind of scary because sometimes, sometimes, I get this weird feeling like you truly mean it and would go through with it," Benji rambles, heart pounding at revealing his deepest fears to the one inspiring them within him in the first place. It goes silent in Ethan's living room. Benji looks down and picks at his fingernails, a nervous habit of his.

After a while, Benji hears "I would." Benji's head shoots up. "What?" His mouth feels dry. 

Ethan's being completely serious and it feels as if Ethan's eyes are boring into his soul, and at that moment, relief at being correct combined with the uncomfortable sensation of a chill runs down his spine. 

"I would," Ethan repeats, a little more forceful. "I would keep you with me, where you'd be safe and loved," Ethan's talking a little more faster now, intensity pouring through each word and the dark look on his face.

"I have more than enough money. I could keep you where your every desire and need would be catered to and met, with nothing, or more importantly, no one to interrupt. I'd cook for you, and watch movies with you, and any time you want, I'd be right here for you. I'll keep your cock warm all night in my mouth as you sit and do those stupid fucking crossword puzzles, suck you dry and swallow every drop until you're sensitive. I'd climb on top and ride you until my legs lose feeling in them and you can't come anymore. I'd fuck you so hard into the mattress you'd be bedridden the next day. You don't fucking get it, Benji. I love you, and I love hard. It's different with you than with Julia because I never hungered over her like this. It's like you bring out the best and worst in me. It also doesn't help that you're a field agent now. That means you can handle whatever I throw your way." Ethan purrs, slower with a darker look on his face and a huskier tone to his voice, walking towards Benji who in turn walks back until he feels his back hit the edge of the counter. 

This is Ethan Hunt on the hunt, and yes, Benji immediately winces after thinking of the horrible pun. Ethan's eyes are dark and he hooks his fingers into the belt loops of Benji's jeans, giving him a very lustful once-over. Benji shivers in unwanted and inconvenient arousal in the sight of how sexily unhinged Ethan is acting out for him before scolding himself and getting his mind back on track-Ethan is a born manipulator. 

Ethan jerks him even closer, those delicious bicep muscles flexing, tilting his head down and capturing Benji's lips in a soft kiss. The kiss of the devil. 

"This isn't the time for this, get yourself together, Benji," Benji thinks to himself, trying to shake off the arousal that was attempting to pool in his gut. Meanwhile, Ethan is smirking at him as if he knows exactly what effect his words had on Benji, only serving to make Benji angrier. 

Ethan goes back in, obviously angling to deepen the kiss but Benji, having steeled his admittedly weak resolve, is having none of that. Space, he needs space! Just the proximity of Ethan was making him dizzy. Benji jolts his head back and pushes Ethan away from him. 

"Wanting to keep me locked up and only with you is concerning, Ethan! And that is why I have to break up with you. It's for the best. We obviously can't truly handle each other. We both want things the other can't handle. You want me to be under your watch always and yet will always jump at the chance to run blindly into danger, and I just can't accept that," Benji pauses, looking down and takes Ethan's hands into his own and intertwines their fingers. 

Benji really doesn't want to break up with Ethan, (God it feels like he's ripping his heart out if his chest), but it has to be done. If he is being truly honest to himself, Benji is scared of starting to actually like Ethan's obsessive behavior and that is definitely not acceptable. Ethan's silent, but tears are pooling up in his eyes and he's shaking his head, mouthing a silent no and the sight just tears Benji's heart into pieces but he gallantly soldiers on. 

"So I guess I'm just saying, this is goodbye, Ethan. I'll see you around when I come back for my stuff sometime this week, unless - ?" Benji looks at Ethan, waiting for some form of rejection or approval, but gets none. Ethan is staring steadfastly at him, pain all over his features. This of course, triggers Benji's word vomit once more. 

"I really didn't want to do this. But, I have to leave you, Ethan. Your mental health is concerning, and I'm tired of worrying about it-" 

"No! Don't do this to me, Benji, I'll be better, I'll be good! Whatever you want, I'll do! I'll change, please don't leave me," Ethan begs, on his knees now, holding onto Benji's legs, ensuring that Benji cannot leave. Shit.

"Ethan, let go of my legs." Breathe. Calm down. Do not kick free of Ethan- he will be injured, Benji, you don't want that. 

"No! Not until you agree to take me back, o-or give us another chance!" Ethan pleads, and Benji seriously cannot do this with him right now.

"Ethan, can you stop being immature and let me go -" 

"I'll retire for you!" Ethan yells and well, Benji stops struggling, shocked out of his mind.

"What?" is all he says, admittedly sounding quite dumb, but can you blame him? This was Ethan Hunt, IMF's greatest asset! Benji is so shocked he forgets to struggle. Ethan slumps against his knees, just resting against him, and it feels an awful lot like surrender. 

"I'll hand in my resignation, effective immediately. And you could give up the dangerous life too, and there would be no more bad guys to worry about. It would just be the two of us, if you want it to be. Just don't walk out that door, and say you'll stay with me," Ethan offers, looking up at Benji earnestly. Benji just stares at him for a second before it connects. 

"No," Benji says gently but with force. "I could never do that to you. You retiring is a decision you're supposed to make of your own free will. It's not even about the world needing you, Ethan. It's about when you stop needing the world to need you. Besides, if I took you on that offer, for years to come, you'd only resent me for it. You're going to really far lengths now, Ethan. Do you see why we don't need to be with each other? And did you even consider that I don't want to retire just yet either. Once again, you're trying to make the decisions for me. For the last time tonight, goodbye Ethan." Benji forcefully removes Ethan from his legs, pulling him away, and slowly moves to leave the apartment. 

Everything happens too fast in succession for Benji to wrap his mind around it. All he hears is a loud, frantic "No!" accompanied by the sounds of Ethan jumping to his feet and the feeling of Ethan's arm around his throat, cutting off his air supply and distinctly Benji remembers The Incident Which Must Not Be Named ™️ with panic rising in him.

"Ethan, Ethan!" Benji chokes out, clawing at the man's arms. Benji had went through extensive training but even he wasn't prepared for the onslaught of being betrayed by a loved one and his own trauma rearing its head. How could Ethan go for his neck, knowing his history? 

"Ethan!' Benji chokes one last time, slapping ineffectively at the man's arms. 

"Shh, just go to sleep," Ethan whispered softly in his ear, arms tightening even more. It all goes to black.

Benji comes to later, head eating down on his chest, with a pounding head and dry mouth, and an achy sort of feel just all around his neck. 

What the fuck? Benji thinks as he lifts his tender head slowly, looking around him. How the fuck did he get into Ethan's basement? But Ethan's basement looked different. There was a television there now, and a stack of movies there; all of Benji's favorites. There was also a mini fridge that wasn't there before either. 

Why was Ethan redecorating? More importantly, why was Benji here again? Benji squinted, trying his hardest to recall events through his foggy memory. The last thing he remembers is arguing with Ethan, breaking it off, and Ethan being behind just him. Did he trip on something forcing Ethan to carry him here? No, that didn't make sense. Ethan could've just carried him to his couch and fixed him up right there. God knows in their profession they had to learn top notch medical skills. Benji sighed; he was clueless. God, why was he so uncomfortable? 

Benji went to rub his temples to ease the oncoming headache, but his wrists were restricted by something that felt stiff but didn't budge. He looked up horrified to see that his wrists were bound to bed posts with some kind of heavy duty dark rope, and as a matter of fact, so were his feet. Benji's eyes damn near bulged out of their sockets as shock hit him like a tidal wave. With a rush, all of the night's events came rushing back to Benji's brain. He looked down to see he was stripped down to his boxers and he tilted his head up and sighed again. 

Damn it, he knew Hunt was unstable, but not this unstable. The night seems to be growing worse and worse by the minute. Benji starts wondering where the fuck is Ethan and as if summoned, Benji's hears a door slam and light footsteps going down a set of stairs before Ethan comes into view. He calmly watches Benji for a few moments, standing above him with his arms crossed. He's still wearing the fucking apron. How did this evening go to absolute shit?

"Hey there, sleepy head," he tells Benji with a small smile and Benji will not deny the fact that he has a mini stroke in that instant. Benji freezes for a second because he knew Ethan was acting unstable, but fuck, he wasn't ready for Ethan acting as if nothing has changed. 

"Ethan, what the fuck?! Untie me this instant -" He starts to yell, voice garbled from being choked out earlier, but Ethan calmly shushes him, forcing a ball gag in his mouth.

"Shh, it's okay. I'm sorry about how I put you to sleep earlier. You had a lot of stuff to say earlier, and I think it's my turn now. Benji, you're safe now, where no one can hurt you; where no one can take you away from me. Nothing and nobody is going to get in the way of us now." Benji grunts, and Ethan gently kisses him on the forehead, hand cupping Benji's face.

Benji wants to rear his head back and head butt the shit out of Ethan, but what would that do? He's still bound with no chance of getting out, with a captor who is quite possibly the deadliest man alive. 

There are no chances at escaping, if Benji is being honest with himself, as hard as it is. Ethan knows all the tactics already and is stronger than him. Even if he managed to arm himself Ethan would still beat him outright. He can only survive and submit. 

Benji closes his eyes and slumps against the restraints, turning his face to the side. "Hey, hey, hey, don't cry, Benji. I'm here," Benji didn't even register his own tears until Ethan wipes them away with his thumbs, smiling at him gently. "I know you're scared right now, but I promise, I will take these restraints off of you once I can trust you not to leave me," Ethan pauses, "or whenever you need to use the restroom or eat. These are just a necessary precaution for every other time in between."

So Ethan was just going to keep Benji chained like an animal?! To be fair, Ethan had already started to do that before this. "Do you understand me, Benji?" Ethan asks and Benji nods, jaw aching around the ball. Ethan levels him with a hard state, before bidding to himself, satisfied. 

"Alright, I'm done talking and besides, that looks uncomfortable," Ethan says and then gently unstraps the gag before prying it out of Benji's mouth. A million things run through his mind but the only thing Benji croaks out is, "They'll find me." 

Ethan gives him a blinding smile. "I don't think so, Mr. Dunn. I've set up a fake trail. Apparently, as we speak, to the rest of the world it looks like we're climbing Mount Everest, and that pretty soon, our comms will die and then we'll die up there, bodies to be never recovered. The IMF can't hunt what they think is dead. " 

Benji looks at him in horror. "I -" 

"Now, are you hungry? I made chicken," Ethan cheerfully interrupts, and Benji slumps against the restraints again.

Submit, he tells himself and he does.

"Chicken sounds lovely," Benji tells Ethan. Ethan nods and steps away from view, going up the stairs and Benji hears the door close, the slam of it startingly final.


End file.
